The issues discussed in the book are so true and so real, yet at the same time, the book is such an eye-opener (at least it is, for me). As you have probably figured out from the title, it is about relationships, but not just romantic relationships. Many has categorised it (if not from the first look of the title) that this book is anti-dating. Well, to a certain extent maybe, but it is not exactly so. It does not condemn dating in and of itself, it just criticises what the people of today have made it to be. Instead, it suggests a better alternative to the worldly concept of dating.
"The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment" This is what the 2nd chapter of the book says. How true it is! Commitment is such a lacking factor in today's relationships, and yet many people just do not realise this, and they launch into relationships without intending for the relationship to last. Isn't this what we read in the newspapers everyday? of celebrities stepping in and out of the 'game of love'. What an apt term: 'The Game of Love'.
Besides that, I was also brought to realise certain boundaries. I used to think that 'Christian dating' is merely about dating Christian guys, abstaining from sex before marriage, and getting parents' consent. It is only now that I realise it is not as simple as this. It is not a boundary per se. Instead, it is something like a journey on a highway (as Harris puts it): You think that you can go as far till you see a sign that says "Turn Back!", not realising that actually the sign does not exist, and when you finally realise it, you've gone way too far, and must go even further before you can finally turn back.
Then I reflected and saw the times when I've played near the boundaries and almost got electrocuted. I thought of the times I nearly challenged the boundaries, despite being pricked by my own conscience. For this, I'm really grateful to the Lord for saving me in time before I do things that I will further regret.
As I have come to realise, the best way is to stay out of the highway, instead of trying your luck on it, hoping you'll turn back in time before you have gone too far. Unaware to many (myself included), the beginning of this highway is the nurturing of infatuation. I must admit, I used to think that these 'little fancies' are innocent fantasies of the young mind. After all, what harm is there if it remains in the mind? No harm, no foul, so it's okay. But I was wrong. Others may not look into your heart, but it does matter to the God who looks deep into my heart. Purity in relationships does not mean only physical purity, but also that of the mind.
In the book, Harris also highlights the mobility that comes with singleness. Being single allows one to freely serve the Lord, and in the process, learns a lot of precious lessons that will come in handy someday. These are lessons that will prepare you for the relationship God has in store for you. So, singleness is not a 'curse' as many seem to think it is. Instead, it is a wonderful time of growth and adventure.
Therefore, I am determined not to get myself involved in relationships before I am ready to make a lifelong commitment at a time according to God's plan for my life. Meantime, I am certainly indulged in the celebration of singleness, and all the mobility and freedom that comes with it.
Some interesting quotes from the book:
- As Christians, we know certain things such as "Jesus loves me" and Christ died for sinners." We've heard these statements countless times, but the dust of familiarity can dim the glory of these simple truths. We have to brush them off and remind ourselves of their life-transforming power.
- One of the most beautiful analogies God uses to define His relationship with us is that of a marriage. To grasp this is both inspirational and sobering. People should be able to look at our marriages and say, "So that's what the church is like? That's what it means to have a relationship with Jesus?"
- The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.
5 comments:
Yea, being committed in a relationship is so important, but it is lacking today. Many people would just start a relationship without thinking wisely. Today the celebrities are just like playing around with love, as they don't seem to be serious at all in their relationships.
When we start a relationship, we have to abide by the boundaries. We must know when to turn back so that we wouldn't regret in the future.
Overall, right now, i feel that it is good to remain single as i too would not be ready for any special relationships. Even my parents have advised me to concentrate on my studies first right now before thinking about relationships.
Anyway, being single is not too bad either. You don't need to carry a heavy burden and we can enjoy a large amount of freedom. We can enjoy the freedom of serving the Lord and learn a few good lessons for the future. God has already prepared a relationship for us.
In conclusion, we have to be truly committed in a relationship before even thinking of starting it, otherwise, we end up like most teenagers ending their relationships because of the lack of wisdom.
Thanks anyway for posting an important lesson in your blog. I appreciate it very much!
waaaaaa.. haha wad an interesting title eh? =p
heys! i read the book also! hehe. yeah. its a very good book indeed. the things he says there are scriptural and logical. i am glad you finally got to read it. did u get his following book "Guy Meets Girl"? its the book where he himself gets married. good as well. he tells how he went met, courted and married his wife. its good also. hehe.
Hey, Jon! Thanks for the comment. It is also a great lesson for myself. I would truly encourage you to read the book. It will be a personal challenge for yourself too!
Hi, Ian! Yea, I know of his books. Haven't gotten my hands on it yet, though. Will do so. I'm sure it's gonna be a great one too. But at the moment, I gotta read up "Retuen of the Natives", "Wuthering Heights", and "Duchess of Malfi". sigh...
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