the Thing with feathers that perches in the soul

Life is a series of promotions from one set of routine to another. Remember the time when our routine comprised of only nap time, playtime, and mealtime? Then it included school time and break time, then gradually work time.

And we wonder why we spend a lifetime going through the motions, like the goods in a factory going through the conveyor belts. The outcome is generic. Every prince and every pauper is mere flesh and bone rotting six feet under.

Yet, deep within every heart and every soul, there is a longing for something more to this life. Because if our ultimate destination is death and no further, why does it matter what we do and how we live?

We silently and subconsciously cling on to the only thing that keeps us going: hope, like a spark of light at the end of the tunnel. A hope that the significance of our years spent on earth -may it be one or one hundred- ceases not with our last gasp for oxygen.

But such hope can only come from one who has himself conquered death, and thus can secure a promise of life after death. Only Jesus alone has conquered death, and only Jesus provides an answer to the hope of every heart. And all who believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Hope is not mere wishful thinking. Hope is not the flicker of a candle in the dark, quivering in the embrace of the lightest breeze, never knowing if it will withstand the wind.

Hope is closing your eyes on the world for one last time, knowing full well that you will open them in paradise.

And to raise a generation of hope is for the hopefuls to take this message to the hopeless - a message that gives the world a reason to live.

Because the things that we do today matter in the life to come.

You Are God Alone

You are not a god created by human hands
You are not a god dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god in need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that's just the way it is

You are God alone from before time began
You were on Your throne, You are God alone
And right now, in the good times and bad
You are on Your throne, You are God alone

You're the only God whose power none can contend
You're the only God whose name and praise will never end
You're the only God who's worthy of everything we can give
You are God, and that's just the way it is

Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That's what You are

Been thinking...

How effortlessly we point our fingers at those who nailed Jesus to the cross! The Romans who had to do what was politically correct then, and the Jews who had no room for the message of grace.

But what if Jesus comes now? Will our generation nail him to the cross just as they did? How will we respond to Him?

I can imagine those of us who will oppose His politically incorrect ways. I can imagine the skeptics in our midst who will sneer and jeer at the incomprehensible concept of grace. We have already crucified Him in our own ways. Like Bethlehem, we are too occupied to make room for the King.

What happens if Jesus comes today? I don't know. I don't wanna know. I am glad He came when he did, because it's always easier to look from the outside.

The Power of Love

As I read Luke 19 again, the scene of Zacchaeus climbing up onto the sycamore tree unfolded itself before me once more.

Jesus was in town, and everyone would give anything to steal a glance at this controversial prophet. Buried in the sea of faces was that of Zacchaeus's. A small man in physique and a small man in the judgemental eyes of his fellow countryman, Zacchaeus was forced to climb a tree in order to steal a look at his Saviour. Jesus, of course, had a heart big enough for a small man like Zacchaeus and He offered to go to Zacchaeus's house for the day.

Despite my familiarity with the story, I was suddenly struck with awe as I read Zacchaeus's response:

"Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount." (Luke 19:8)

Jesus did not rebuke Zacchaeus for his sin. Jesus did not condemn his acts of dishonesty towards his fellow countryman. Jesus did not tell him to make right his wrong before coming to the Messiah. Jesus merely extended his invitation of love to Zacchaeus just as he was. With arms opened wide.

And yet, this undeserving love did what no amount of condemnation or rebuke could do. It melted a man's heart. It walked a sinner through the gates of grace.

And a precious child of God was eternally altered.

That's the power of love. Undeserving love.

Grace like rain falls down on me

"Grace... the last good word in the English language."

-Philip Yancey, "What's So Amazing About Grace?"

My God is a holy God. He demands perfection and holiness. He commanded that we turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, and love our enemies, all of which I have failed miserably. Lust is to Him an act of adultery and hatred amounts to murder, and of course, I have not failed to do either. How can I please a holy God when my righteous acts are like filthy rags in His sight?

He knew I was never gonna be good enough for His standards, but He was more than good enough to me. I could not reach up, so God reached down.

He reached down and lifted me up from my wretched disposition. Grace like rain falls down on me. And I am drenched.

All the Right Answers

My many years spent in Sunday School has alerted me that, in spite of what they say, there are right answers to "Christian questions," safe generic answers that is, that will not betray your true self.

"Children, what do you do when you are sick?" "Pray to Jesus!" comes the answer, without a second thought, even though Mummy is all they want when are actually ill. "Do you know who loves you the most?" "Jesus!" comes the answer, although their parents are the only ones who mean the world to them.

Just like the little children who were subconsciously taught to memorise the right answers, we too are all too familiar with giving the right answers.

What must one do in order to be saved?
"We must acknowledge that we are sinners, confess with our mouths, and believe and accept that Jesus has died to take away our sins."

It is no wonder that Kevin Roose, author of "The Unlikely Disciple," who came to Liberty University as an undercover (of sorts), managed to join the church choir to sing praises to the God he has never personally known and went on a mission trip to preach the gospel of the Jesus he has never believed in. As ironic as it may sound, it's not that unbelievable after all. Knowing all the right answers is not that hard to accomplish. Just say yes to the questions that you should say yes to, and no to the questions that you should say no to. It's almost a no-brainer.

But Christianity is not about knowing all the right answers; it's about being on the right side of eternity- the winning side. Knowing all the right answers is not hard at all, living out the right answers- that's the challenge!

LIFE 101

Professor: The Creator
Class time: Every waking moment

Course Objective
The main objective of this class to allow students to get to know the Creator. This course is also designed to give students the opportunity to make the best of the talents that the Creator has bestowed on each individual and to make full use of the time that the Creator has given to them.

Prerequisites
No prerequisites required, as students are picked out of the dirt, literally.

Textbooks
There are no required textbooks for this course, as the coursework and lesson plan are exclusively unique for each student.
Recommended reference material: Holy Bible. Please be aware that this is not a direct generic solution manual for the coursework involved in this class, but careful and deep study of this material will greatly assist you to succeed in this class.

Attendance Policy
Full attendance is required to pass. Failure to achieve perfect attendance will result in your failing this class.

Coursework
- Assignments: Generally, there will be three (3) major assignments, each given at a different stage throughout the course of this class.
Assignment #1. Childhood: Students are expected to demonstrate obedience to authority.
Assignment #2. Teenage: Students are expected to demonstrate submission to authority when authority is placed over them, and the ability to take responsibility is also expected of students when they are given freedom.
Assignment #3. Adulthood: Students are held accountable for everything and everyone under their care and authority. Students will have to answer for their actions at the end of this course.
- Tests: There will be numerous tests during the course of this class. Tests will not be announced ahead of time. It is the student's responsibility to be prepared at all times.
*Please take note that the coursework for each student differs. This is only a general guideline. Some may have less assignments and more tests.

Grading Rubric
The final grade for this class is taken collectively from the assignments and tests. In order to pass this class, one must acknowledge the Creator and all that He has done.
Grade A: Have a personal relationship with the Creator; Fulfilled the Creator's will; Left behind a legacy.
Grade B: Have a personal relationship with the Creator; Fulfilled the Creator's will.
Grade C: Merely acknowledged the Creator and all that He has done.
Grade F: Failed to acknowledge Creator and all that He has done.

Extra Credit
There are countless extra credit opportunities throughout the course of this class, but they will not be announced in class. It is the student's responsibility to take note and recognise these opportunities.

Have fun taking LIFE 101!!

A thing of beauty

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever..."

John Keats

Do you want to know what is a thing of beauty? It is the taste of heaven.

As we were all crying out loud in one voice, but with different tongues, to the Lord God Almighty, I could not help but to stand in awe of Him who brought us together, and bound us to the body of Christ with His all surpassing love. I am so glad that His love transcends all the earthly differences that set us apart.

That is what heaven is gonna be like! Beautiful...

"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free,

neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. "

Galatians 3:28

Let My Walk Speak Loud

Nothing closes the heavy wooden double doors of the church as effectively as hypocrisy does. Bang! The door is slammed shut, never to be opened again. The crowd sneers and jeers at the closed doors, and the people turn their backs on the church. "Look!" they say, "And they call themselves Christians."

Nothing is as great a turn-off as hypocrisy is.

Since hypocrisy is pretending to be something you are not, or saying something that you do not actually practice, can we all agree that hypocrisy amounts to deception? You are presenting yourself to be someone you are not! I feel so deceived to hear one speaking so loudly on stage, and yet his actions have such a great discrepancy with his words. Oh, the deception!

I understand that no one is perfect, and Christians are humans too. Christians make mistakes, just like everyone else. No one is excluded from mankind's downfall. But maybe it's time we start practicing what we preach. Or maybe it's time we stop preaching and start living. Let our walks speak louder than our words!

Because our actions can either put a 'Welcome' sign or a 'No Entry!' sign at the gates of Heaven.

The Legacy

If there is one most profound mistake that a great man of God can make, it is the failure to pass on his faith to the next generation. This is seen recurring all through history, from Moses to David, and the nation of Israel as a whole. Moses, God's chosen one, failed to pass on his faith to the next generation. You do not even want to know what his decendants did. David, a man after God's own heart. But look what happened to his family, or rather, families. And Israel's downfall was caused by her failure to pass her faith on to the next generation.

Unfortunately, this does not stop there. What was true in the times of the Old Testament is still true today. We see the same thing recurring again and again. It breaks my heart everytime I see great men of God failing to pass their faith on to their children. It pinches my heart to see their children slowly turning their backs on God, and turning to the world instead.

This is such a pity, because the only thing that you can leave behind for your children is your faith. And for those who failed to pass their faith on, they walked the length and breadth of this earth and earned the title of a great man of God, but when they leave this world, they leave nothing behind. They are like shadows who sojourned the world, leaving not even a footprint behind. They are like breaths of air that disappear with the lightest mist.

The only legacy that we can leave behind for our children is nothing less that our faith in the one true God. And the greatest ministry the LORD has commissioned to us is our family. Let's live the legacy and pass it on to generations to come!

"...choose you this day whom you will serve...

but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

Joshua 24:15

That side of America Hollywood never portrays

"He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters."

Psalm 23, a portion of the Bible we Christians are all too familiar with. However, being one who was born and bred in a city, I have never been able to fully grasp the image this verse paints. So, when I finally went to Bedford last Saturday, and witnessed for myself what a pasture really is, it just takes my breath away.

Bedford is a small town next to Lynchburg, about forty-five minutes to an hour away. It was the first day of my Thanksgiving break. Pastor Duncan and Betty decided to take Mia and me along as they visit their sister-in-law, and an old friend of theirs in Bedford. As we drove back from the quiet little town, Betty decided to revisit the Baptist church in Bedford that Pastor Duncan first pastored, only to realise that we got hopelessly lost along the way.

We find ourselves driving on narrow winding roads that seemed too small for more than one vehicle. At first, the roads were lined with woods and plantations, and then it turned into hundreds of hectares of farm lands with herds of cattle grazing. A farmhouse or two are seen standing remotely in the background. The pieces of land were so huge that they seem to stretch as far as the ends of the world. And they were green as green can be! Above all, all these were set to a majestic background of the mountains.

Immediately, Psalm 23 came to mind. Now I have a better picture of what the psalmist was feeling and thinking when he wrote the psalm. I can even picture my LORD and I walking across one of the green pastures, hand-in-hand... no... with our arms around each other! As I lie down on the green grass and He lies down beside me, we start to talk about everything. Every single one of my thoughts and dreams, and all that I am going through in my life. How beautiful! How serene! How wonderful!

The image of the pasture in Psalm 23 is not just an image of serenity and calmness, but also of His provision. As Christ said in Luke 12: "If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!" Isn't that just amazing? Looking at God's creation never fails to strike me with awe. If the LORD looked at all that He has created and said that they are good, and I am called the pinnacle of His creation, what does that make me? It makes me wanna worship Him with every breath of my being!

Honestly, I do not mind getting lost in Bedford for a second time.

Holy, Holy, Holy, Is the LORD Almighty!

I must say that I have never before thirsted for the Word of God as much as I now do. It is a thirst that drives me to think about nothing else but His Word; it is a thirst that stirs up a desire to devour and at the same time savour every little bit and pieces that I can put my hands on. It tempts and calls out to me like a refreshing oasis in the middle of a dessert of busyness. Just when all the hustle and bustle of life is sucking every bit of moisture out of me, there it stands, calling for me to take a deep and long drink from the never ending source of living water. How amazing! How satisfying!

At one point or another, we are all guilty of referring to the contents of the Bible as mere 'stories'. Bible stories, we call them. It somehow connotes the idea that the contents of the Holy Book is a little less than real history, just like how we would never call the Pearl Harbour incident or the Holocaust a 'story'. But the more I sink myself in the texts and words of the Book, the more I realise that every single bit of the book is as real as my being, and as sure as the rising and the setting of the sun. How amazing! How awesome!

Studying the writing and the contents of the best-selling Book of all time drives me to realise the greatness and awesomeness of the One who put it together. Oh, just how brilliant He is! How real! How beautiful! And most of all... how Holy! I cannot help but to stand in awe of Him. Did you know that the use of the title 'LORD' (all in caps) in the Bible we now have is the representation of the Name of the God, Lord of the whole universe, YHWH? His Name is so holy that the Jews did not see themselves worthy of even using the Name. Such holiness that strikes me with indescribable awe! Yet we so ignorantly use the LORD's Name in vain, treating it like nothing more than another exclamation. Shame on those of us who have ever done that!

I am just so utterly amazed by the LORD, by His words, and by His works that are seen spanning across time and history!

Isaiah 6:3 says,

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD almighty;

the whole earth is filled with His glory."

Officially an Alien!

So, I am officially an alien! Well, at least an alien on American soil.

It's been so long since I last updated my blog, that I've kinda forgotten that I have a blog. No way! I was kidding.

Many people have been really nice, and I have a thousand and one people asking me how am I, including people whom I never knew cared anything about me (and I wonder where they came from all of a sudden).

But above all else, the one thing that is truly amazing about being an alien, or rather, being on my own, is the extent of God's grace that I have experienced. It's not that I have never experienced His grace before, it is just that, when you are thrown out on your own and you have nowhere to turn to and no one else to go to, you learn to put your trust and your hope solely in Him. And it is then that you really experience the abundance of His Storehouse of Grace.

This past month has been truly amazing, as I witness the Lord of the universe at work in my life. (Can you believe that the God who created the Heavens and the Earth cared enough to look into the life of one out of eleven thousand students in Liberty?!) He never fails to make me stand in awe in His presence.

Well, I do have a lot to thank the Lord for; His grace, His provision, His peace.

That's all for now. I will be back with more details soon. That's a promise, and the last time I checked, I was not a vow-breaker.

Life's a Jigsaw!

You expected as much from one who is staring at jigsaw pieces twenty-four-seven and who will be doing so for the rest of her days in Malaysia, didn't you?

A piece of 2000-tile jigsaw puzzle may look very intimidating at first sight, but if you're at it long enough, you will realise that the whole puzzle is actually made up of sequences that are repeated over and over again. So, all you have to do is to sort the pieces according to colour and type, identify the sequence of tiles, and everything else will fall into place gradually.

And if you have lived life long enough, you will also realise that life is made up of sets of routines. You wake up early in the morning, go to school, return home when you are done, have your meals, do your work, go to sleep, and you wake up the next morning to begin the routine all over again.

However, the routines are different at every phase of your life. Schooling life has its own routine, working life has another. No two rows of the jigsaw puzzle has the same sequence of tiles. So at the beginning of every new row, you will have to identify the new sequence. This is the hardest part, but once this is done and you've adapted to the new routine, you settle down quite nicely into it.

But there is a twist. Sometimes the sequence is disrupted by the corner tiles. There are slight changes to the established routine, but once in a while, a little variation is a desirable break in the routine. After all, routines are dull, and I cannot imagine my life as a boot camp.

There are times when you have to try all the tiles in order to find that one tile that fits nicely, but there are also times when the first one you pick up is the one that fits. But no matter what, at the end of the day, you will definitely find that perfect piece. A detour or two along the way will do you no harm. You may even learn a thing or two on the way. The most important thing is that you get to your destination in the end.

And the most frustrating times are the times when you seem to have tried every single tile and none of them seems to fit. You are frustrated and you begin to question why on earth are you even sitting here in the first place. No sweat! All you've got to do is to take a deep breath and exhale, and start trying all the tiles all over again. You will somehow realise that, in your exhaustion and impatience, you've missed out the correct tile. Thank God for second chances in life! Although you don't always get to undo past mistakes, there are times in life when you are given 'take-twos'. So just take a break, get yourself refreshed, and do it all over again.

Life is a jigsaw puzzle, but it is by no means puzzling. Because the One who does the puzzle has the Big Picture in His hands. The whole picture is already painted way before the first tile was ever put into place. All He has to do is to fit the correct tile into the correct place, and voila! We have a complete Big Picture at the end of it.

Ah... isn't this enlightening? Life's lessons from a jigsaw! I never knew doing jigsaw puzzle can be so enlightening. So, if anyone wants to be enlightened or is interested to contribute to KLBCC's building-fund by doing jigsaw puzzle, please dial 1800-88-DORC, that is, 1800-88-3672.

The Waiting Room

"But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:31

I can definitely endorse the authenticity of this verse. After all, I have been waiting, and am still waiting. All that I do everyday is eat, and sleep, and eat more, and sleep more. It is a wonder if my strength is not renewed.

Waiting has been a significant part of my life.

I still remember the last time I was waiting, I sank into a spell of depression and self-pity. It was not the most pleasant and proudest period of my life, and yet the irony of it was that it came after a huge victory. I guess when you are waiting, you just have so much time on your hands, so much so that you have nothing better to do than to let your thoughts wander into some forbidden region of your mind. You begin to think about everything that never even occurred to you when you had busier days. For me, my thoughts wandered to my loss and my failure.

Fancy mentioning these two words right after a major victory, huh? But yes, my thoughts chose to dwell on all that I was unable to grasp. I thought about all the plans I had for myself, all the plans which did not materialise. I thought about the uncertainty of what lies ahead of me. I was waiting, but I did not know what I was waiting for.

But in spite of it all, the promise of Isaiah 40:31 was waiting to be claimed. And it was proven true. The waiting was not in vain. The Lord on whom I was waiting led me to open doors that I never knew existed. While I was waiting, He was working.

Now I find myself waiting again. But this time round, it is different. I am not dwelling in uncertainty. I know where I am heading to. Still, I find my thoughts wandering to unfamiliar grounds. I reflect on all that is in and around my life. I reflect on all the little wonders surrounding me, things and people that I never had time for. And I realise just how blessed I am.

I have come to realise that waiting can be fruitful. The waiting room can be surrounded by four walls, with seemingly nothing. But it is what you do in that little room, and how you use the time, that make a difference. While I wait on Him, I know I wait in expectancy on Him, and when my strength is renewed in Him, I will run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint.

Waiting has been a significant part of my life, and it will continue to be.

Narnia: Prince Caspian

Okay, maybe it’s a little late for a post on Narnia: Prince Caspian. But better late than never, right? No, my dad was not sitting at the edge of his chair in the cinema like he did for the first Narnia movie, but we all agreed that this one is definitely better than the first one.

So throughout the movie I was busy typing into my handphone. I was not sending SMSes, mind you. I am a law abiding citizen. But I was taking down some of the quotes that I find interesting.

Here’s one, from the scene when Lucy first met Aslan. She was telling Him how she thought she saw Him, while the others brushed it off as an illusion. And His reply was this:

“And why did that stop you from coming to me?”

If I were in Lucy’s place, I would have felt a hard smack on the face. This is a classic example of how we always put the blame on others when things go wrong. Just like in the very beginning. Just like Eve. I thought that I’m more righteous and more worthy of praise than the others, because I believed. Truth is, if my faith was strong enough, I would have taken action, since faith without action is nothing. But like Lucy, when people around started doubting me, I started doubting myself too. And this held me back from taking the required action. This is just as bad as not believing at all. In the end, I am the one to be blamed for doubting my own faith. It’s my fault and no one else’s.

Here’s another one, from the scene when Aslan appoints Prince Caspian as the next King of Narnia:

“Caspian: I do not think I am ready.

Aslan: And for that reason, I know you are.”

It is a wonder how God never calls one who thinks that he is ‘ready and well-equipped’, but one who thinks that he does not have it takes to do the job. Like young David. Like King Josiah. Maybe because it is when we realize our own shortcomings and insufficiencies, that we learn to trust in His superior knowledge and to draw strength from Him. It is time I realize and recognize the fact that, without Him, I am nothing and can do nothing. Then, I’ll be ready for what He has in store for me. Well, maybe not to be Queen, but I wouldn’t mind being one.

And then this one came as a good reminder:

“Susan: Why do you think I didn’t see Aslan?
Lucy: Maybe you didn’t want to?”

How true is that! We want to seek God’s counsel. We want to hear Him. We want an answer and a direction from Him. But at times, He just seems so silent. Too silent, as though He is non-existent. Truth is, he is always there for us. Maybe we even heard it. We just denied it because the answer He gave is not the one we wanted and expected. I should know. How often have I denied His voice just because He was not saying what I wanted Him to. It’s not that I didn’t see Him, I just didn’t want to.

And this next one came as a strong blow that struck me and woke me up. From the scene in which the rat (whatever his name was) found out that he lost his tail:

“Aslan: Perhaps you think too much of your honour.”

I am guilty of this one. Hey! Serving God is not about me or my honour. It never is. How easy it is for me to focus on how well I do my job, and how it reflects on my character, so much so that I have lost sight of the sole purpose to please my Lord, and forgot that His power is made perfect in my weakness. Perhaps I think too much of my honour and not His.

So, bottom line is, if you missed Narnia, go watch it! Nah.... It's just that C. S. Lewis has such a great mind! I mean, he managed to tell the story of Christ on Malaysia's silverscreen! Well, it takes a great mind to do the job.

So me!

So, I am a huge fan of Calvin and Hobbes, and this really caught my attention!

Actually, sometimes I've got the same questions about God too. But aren't we all like that at one point of time or another? I guess there are times when you just have to cling on to nothing else but faith.

Surprised by God

So, I am surprised by God... once again. Was it unexpected? No. Was I caught offguard? Yes. How is that even possible? Don't ask me, I don't know. Humans are just bundles of contradictions, and that is really what I am.

Sometimes, I just wish that He quits jumping out from behind the bush, because I really thought I was going to have a heart attack everytime He does that. But at times, I am also thrilled at the idea of Him showing up at my doorstep with flowers on an unexpected day.

However, I have come to realise that they all come in a package. There is no picking out just the good ones nor can you dismiss the not-so-good ones. They are all in the same package. It is a situation where you either take it, or you leave it.

Yet everytime, just as I thought I was sure of my destination, He took me on a detour. He brought me up to the mountain peak and down to the valley deep. He took me for a walk in the rose garden; I smelled some roses and pricked my fingers.

But there are two things that I can always know for sure: 1) I always gain something from the experience, be it a pleasant surprise or not-so-pleasant one. It is either a fresh scent of roses or a bloody finger. 2) If He leads me to it, He always leads me through it!

Perhaps it's time to brace myself for more surprises in the future!

Imperfections

Affluence has elevated us to a position where we can no longer tolerate even the slightest imperfection. Only perfectly undented cans, perfectly crease-free books, and perfectly symmetrical garments ever go into our shopping carts. We think that we deserve the best goods for the money we've paid.

Then, we apply the same standard to other things. We only want and will only make perfectly beautiful babies. People even go to the extent of seeking scientific help in order to make that possible. They select the best genes to be passed on to the next generation, in the hope that they will create babies as special and as talented as Yao Ming.

But what if God still decides to give us a slightly less-than-perfect child? Will we still be able to call her a Gift of Grace? Will we be able to look into her eyes and see beauty beyond description? Can we look into her face and see the image of God? Or do we see an ugly little monster staring back at us?

I was born with some imperfections of my own. I was born with a retarded mind, so much so that I cannot understand most of the things He is trying to tell me. I have too big a head, and I think that I can do things without His help. My hearing is slightly impaired. I cannot hear Him speaking to me most of the time, and very often, He had to resort to yelling at me. I suffer from severe short-sightedness. I can never see beyond the present. I have too loud a mouth, and time and again, I have said things that are a little less than pleasant to my Creator. My hands have too strong a grip, and I have problem letting go of things. I am faint-hearted. I easily lose faith and get discouraged over and over again. My legs are so long that sometimes I run too fast and too far away from where He wants me to be. I am the embodiment of Imperfections.

Yet, He has called me a Child of Grace. Yet, He said that I was "fearfully and wonderfully made". Yet, He has picked me up and clothed me in His love and His righteousness. Yet, He had chosen to lay down His life for a bundle of Imperfections.

He must have had a different definition of the word 'perfection'. Or else, He must have seen something that I could not see. Or perhaps, He has looked at me through a different pair of lenses; a pair of lenses that tranforms Imperfections to Perfections.

say Nay!

When I first joined college, the moment I walked into the first Christian Fellowship meeting, I promised myself not to get involved too actively. I wanted to just 'blend in' and remain in the background. I wanted to sit back and relax and for once be the 'audience'. I was too tired and worn out after years of serving Him.

Of course, my God has never failed to surprise me. While I dreamed of relaxing and doing nothing, He has other greater plans for me, as always. Needless to say, I found myself on the front stage once again.

It has been more than one and a half years now, and I certainly cannot deny the joy that I've found in serving Him. These three semesters have been more than just spiritual growth for me, for I was blessed with lots of fellow brothers and sisters who have helped me grow spiritually and have also inspired me to serve Him with even greater passion.

As I look back now, I laugh at my own folly. I have come to realise that there is no such thing as a retirement or anything of that sort, not even a vacation, when your boss is the Big Guy up there. Because the purpose of this life that you are living is to serve Him and Him alone. Retirement comes when you cease being. So, when I said that I just wanted to sit back and relax and be the audience, it was equivalent to saying that I was fed up serving Him, tired of living out the purpose of my life. Now, how stupid does that sound....? And oh, by the way, the audience of one in this show is also my Big Boss up there. So who am I to say that I want to be in the audience?

Again, looking back now, I am glad that I did not say Nay! when He placed me where He wanted me to be. Right now, I just feel like putting my face to the ground for Him!