Silver Lining

Sometimes finding that silver lining is not that difficult.

What I've Been Surviving On

Presenting my proud creations...

I think I am on my way to becoming a world-renown chef . . . or not.

doing what I love doing feels good

The Sunday Star published my article entitled "My Beloved Country" (originally titled "To the One that I Miss") on April 4. The article can be found in print on page E13 of the Education section. The online version of the article can be found here.

Just for the sake of...

Well, actually I don't have anything significant to say. Just thought I'd keep this blog alive since it has not been attended to in quite a while. Okay, more than quite a while. Alright! ...for a looong time.

Or maybe this is just an excuse for me to not read or work or do anything that is productive. I just feel like slacking, since it's Thursday night. What about Thursday night, you may ask. 'Cause it's the night before Friday! So what? So that means it's almost the weekend! (Duh!)

But then again, I guess anytime is a good time to slack.

By the way, just to let keep you all updated.... I AM HEADING DOWN TO ORLANDO FLORIDA FOR THE SUMMER! It's official! I will be doing an internship with Wycliffe Bible Translators! That sure keeps me going for the rest of this semester.

The key to success: Beginning with the end in mind!

Storm in the Silence

There was silence. That awkward silence that I had dreaded. It somehow seemed like the silence had stripped me naked and exposed all that I had been trying so hard to masquerade. Then she'll hear my anxious gasps for air and the deep pounding of my heart, like a hammer on hollow wood. She'll read my mind like an open book- the very thing that I hhad been trying anxiously to hide. Because it was screaming "Get me outta here!" I was sure she heard that scream, because the silence, like a megaphone, had amplified it a thousandfold.

So I desperately operated my innate search engine to locate the right words to say. Wheels were turning and pages were flipping in search of those words that had never existed. And never will. I heard myself said, "I am sure the LORD let things happen for a reason. I am sure He has a better plan in store." That was a lie. That was just the default response for a situation like this. It is not that He does not have a better plan, but it's just that, right at that very moment, I was not so sure about it.

A million questions popped up in my mind. Like the game in which you whack the bobbing heads with a club, I tried to strike each of these questions down, and confine them to the dungeon of my mind. But they were raving to get out, pushing and stampeding their way out. In the process, hurting me from the inside out. And the pain that was caused translated into tears that flowed freely down my cheeks.

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;

may the name of the LORD be praised."

Job 1:21b

Bookworm-athon

Just a little bragging (and sharing!). I went through 5 books this summer (so far!). Good reads they are!

1. Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
2. Why? by Vernon Brewer
3. The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey (Great book! Very refreshing. Highly recommended!)
4. To Kill a Mocking Bird by Harper Lee (Another amazing book!)
5. What's So Amazing about Grace? by Philip Yancey (Highly recommended!)

Well, if you haven't already realised, I am very proud of myself! It's nice catching up on some reading for pleasure.

PS: Oh, did I mention that I am currently on Baker Street with Sherlock Holmes?

Happy Belated April's Fool!

I understand if my peers think that China is part of South East Asia, or that Kimono is Chinese.... but this? In my History textbook?

Don't I just LOVE them...

A Geography Lesson

It was the first Residence Hall Leaders' Meeting after Christmas break and the first one for this semester. So we were going around sharing what we did over the break.

TommiLee: Our family had a Chinese Night. We had Chinese food and Chinese tea. I don't know what's it called, but we had this thing that is wrapped in seaweed.

Dorcas: Er... I don't think that's Chinese. It's most probably Japanese food.

TommiLee: Oh, really? Anyway, we dressed up as Chinese too!

Rachel: Oh! What did you guys wear?

TommiLee: We all had Kimonos on!

Dorcas: Erm... Kimono is Japanese too.

(Girls laugh)

TommiLee: Oh well, it's just an inter-cultural night then.

Natalie: Maybe you can call it South East Asia Night!

Dorcas: Well, actually, neither China nor Japan is part South East Asia.

Natalie: (blushes) Oops, sorry!

Well, this is American Geography for you.

*Please take note: Kimonos and Sushis are Japanese, and there are 10 countries in South East Asia, but Japan and China are NOT in the list!

Les Mademoiselles!

Living in close proximity with almost 70 other girls, I guess one just cannot help but to be, well, girly. So, here's a panorama of some scenarios captured in a girls' dorm.

I know bribery is absolutely wrong, but bribing with chocolate... is that a sin? Wait, is that even bribery?
So Rosemary wanted to go carolling to the brother dorm. Obviously, none of us was too interested in that. As a result, she ended up with no one on her side. And it is definitely not cool to go carolling alone! (Is that pathetic or what?) Finally, she had to resort to bribing Terron with chocolates to get some company on the little carolling trip. Anyway, the whole thing ended rather pathetically.
Well, this led to another problem. The rest of the girls who did not go carolling were making plans to have a movie night in our room, and they were upset that Terron agreed to go carolling, thus making us wait for her. So, in order to keep them occupied while she went carolling, Terron paid the girls in chocolate to have them make her bed and clean her part of the room.
Is this CRAZY or what?

So, moving on, my next door neighbour (literally!) is getting married! And as we all should probably know, getting married is not just an affair between two persons, but rather, it involves two families. Yes, she does have to deal with her in-laws, that is, future in-laws.
Yesterday, she ran into my room, looking for Terron to "hold her hand". I thought I heard her wrongly. The most gutsy girl in the dorm (she's a criminal justice major!) wants someone to hold her hand. And since Terron was not in the room, the task fell upon my shoulders.
Naturally, as anyone else would, I asked her what was going on. She said that she was about to give her mother-in-law a call. Then she sat down and started writing out a script for the telephone conversation. No kidding! The girl who stands up in class to debate with the lecturer is actually writing out a script for a conversation with her mother-in-law! Seriously, I was laughing my head off.

Oh well, I guess we are all the same inside, that girly side of ours. For some, it may be obvious and well-displayed, and for others, that girly side may be disguised and hidden under a facade of toughness and independence. Join the club, ladies!

That side of America Hollywood never portrays

"He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters."

Psalm 23, a portion of the Bible we Christians are all too familiar with. However, being one who was born and bred in a city, I have never been able to fully grasp the image this verse paints. So, when I finally went to Bedford last Saturday, and witnessed for myself what a pasture really is, it just takes my breath away.

Bedford is a small town next to Lynchburg, about forty-five minutes to an hour away. It was the first day of my Thanksgiving break. Pastor Duncan and Betty decided to take Mia and me along as they visit their sister-in-law, and an old friend of theirs in Bedford. As we drove back from the quiet little town, Betty decided to revisit the Baptist church in Bedford that Pastor Duncan first pastored, only to realise that we got hopelessly lost along the way.

We find ourselves driving on narrow winding roads that seemed too small for more than one vehicle. At first, the roads were lined with woods and plantations, and then it turned into hundreds of hectares of farm lands with herds of cattle grazing. A farmhouse or two are seen standing remotely in the background. The pieces of land were so huge that they seem to stretch as far as the ends of the world. And they were green as green can be! Above all, all these were set to a majestic background of the mountains.

Immediately, Psalm 23 came to mind. Now I have a better picture of what the psalmist was feeling and thinking when he wrote the psalm. I can even picture my LORD and I walking across one of the green pastures, hand-in-hand... no... with our arms around each other! As I lie down on the green grass and He lies down beside me, we start to talk about everything. Every single one of my thoughts and dreams, and all that I am going through in my life. How beautiful! How serene! How wonderful!

The image of the pasture in Psalm 23 is not just an image of serenity and calmness, but also of His provision. As Christ said in Luke 12: "If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!" Isn't that just amazing? Looking at God's creation never fails to strike me with awe. If the LORD looked at all that He has created and said that they are good, and I am called the pinnacle of His creation, what does that make me? It makes me wanna worship Him with every breath of my being!

Honestly, I do not mind getting lost in Bedford for a second time.

Life in a Container

I recently submitted an English essay paper entitled "Redefining Privacy". My teacher asked me why did I choose this topic, and my answer was that I am seriously deprived of privacy.

Life in a container? If you have seen the pictures of my dorm, you will definitely know what I mean. Yes, I am paying $2900 every semester to live in a container! The small little box that houses three persons is where I call home at least for the next four years.

The container has 23 rooms with 3 girls in each room. So, there are about 70 girls in the little container. What can be more of an encroachment on one's privacy than this?! I think I am starting to be claustrophobic. I cannot stand being in my room with the doors and windows closed, and I have to keep them open all the time.

But the worst thing is not the size of the room, but those who are in it. I am not complaining about my roommates, mind you. But I have had my own room for at least 8 years, and now I have to share a room with two other persons. It sure takes some adjustment. Being in the same container with 70 other girls is not much of a help either.

Every now and then, someone will come into the room. And somehow, I am just obliged to talk to them, however much I do not feel like talking. I cannot lock my door as I would have done if I were in my own home. Then someone will come in and ask if they can watch my roommate's TV. Of course, again, we are obliged to say yes. I mean, I do not have an option, do I? I do not know what is wrong (or right) with my room, but people just love to 'hang out' here. They will come with their stuff and everything and almost spend the night in my room.

I am not a hermit, of that I am sure. But I suppose you can call me a loner. I love having time to myself. I love 'hanging out' with myself. While I do not mind having other human beings around once in a while, but I do need space and time for myself to be alone, which is something that I am seriously lacking.

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to learn to live with it, at least for the next few years. As Melissa said, "The Lord has placed us here for His purpose."

Church hunting

Never in my life have I dreamt that I will have to go church-hopping and church-hunting. Definitely not here at Liberty! It is indeed ironical that I am church-hunting when I am in a Christian school with two churches meeting on campus. Truth is, the churches here are mega-churches. No, not like KLBC, but at least ten times the size of KLBC! Yes, I mean it literally! It is really hard to get involved in a church that huge, and I do not want to just attend church every Sunday and then leave right after service. Part of my act of worshipping is serving Him, and at the same time, I also believe that it is easier for me to grow in a smaller church.

So, I began church hopping and church hunting. But to tell the truth, I did not quite know what I was looking for. It was unrealistic to look for a church that is exactly like my home church, because I will never find one. Yet, I knew that I had to settle down. Because if you hop for too long, you will soon get tired of it, and you will quit moving altogether. It was then that I found Living Word Baptist Church. It was like KLBCC in some ways, but it is not completely the same either. Let's see:

Similarities:
1. It is about KLBCC's size.
2. It has a lot of children.
3. It has an imperfect worship team. (Praise the Lord for that!)

Differences:
1. It is certainly not as welcoming as KLBCC. But then again, I was at the other end of the welcome.
2. The pastor is never the first one to be in the hall every Sunday.
3. The order of worship is certainly different.

Well, I guess I cannot ask for more. It takes time to get used to something. It took me 18 years to feel absolutely at home in KLBC(C). I guess I have four years to get used to Living Word. Praise the Lord for that!

Life as an Alien... (so far)

Well, as I have promised, here is the update. As I am writing this, it is September 12th in Virginia, which means that I have been here for one month and six days. This is almost unbelievable! I still cannot get past the fact that I have been away from the place I call home for that long! I guess this is the result of His grace and mercy to me. Always being there for me when I needed Him, or not.

Okay, now brace yourselves for a super long post. (What can you expect from one who has not updated her blog for a month?)

Guess I shall begin with my classes, since they are such a HUGE part of my life now.

General Education (GNED 101): I did not know what to call this subject and how to describe it until Micah calls it a subject that deals with ethics. If that is not plain enough, I'll put it this way: the class teaches you how to think and how to tell what is right and what is wrong, based on the Biblical standpoint, of course. After all, this is Liberty University. And since this is Liberty University, how can salvation and the gospel (something I've been hearing a lot lately! I'm not complaining...) be omitted from the syllabus? So yes, it is in the syllabus. Well, to put it more plainly, it is a Christian Moral class. But the nicest thing about this class is the lecturer. His name is Norman Troy Matthews (but apparently, he hates his first name and hence, goes by his middle name), an American who was raised in Australia. If I do not remember anything else, the only thing I remember about this class is that, on the first day, at the end of the class, he yelled out, "Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!", and made us yelled back, "Oink! Oink! Oink!". How crazier can it get?

English (ENGL 101): Obviously, this is an English class. But it is so different from the English classes we have back at home. At least in this class, I was given an essay assignment, but no topic. Basically, I can write whatever I want to write. You may think that this is cool, but it is not, especially when you have to submit three outlines and two drafts before submitting the actual essay. I have written a thousand essays in my life (figuratively!), but I have not written a single outline. But the professor is cute. Can't deny that. She opened my eyes yesterday, by telling the class that 'nice' actually means "stupid or foolish". Nice, huh?

Communications (COMS 101): This is basically a speech class. You learn how to speak, or rather, 'communicate'. I really have nothing much to say about this class, besides the fact that we get extra credits (extra points added to your final grade) by going out front to tell a joke before class begins. So, I went out to tell jokes! Who does not want extra points? (The Americans! kidding...) This is like a freebie! Oh, by the way, I have to give a speech next next week, and I will be talking about the places of interest in Malaysia! Patriotic leh...

Humanities (HUMN 101): Oh... this is a funny class. I have a professor by the name of Dr. Lynn Seipp who is at least 70 years old, and he is a man! Okay, you're probably not laughing, but I always thought that Lynn is a girl's name. Anyway, the first thing he taught us in class is how to pass the attendance sheet, and he had to repeat himself like 2-3 times! Is that cute or what? Well, back to the subject, it is a subject that teaches you to appreciate culture, art, dance, music etc. And our (how I love this pronoun!) Petronas Twin Towers is in my Humanities Textbook! (See, we've finally made a name for ourselves with one of out 'tallest' and 'longest'!) This is actually quite an interesting class, as my professor will sometimes play some instruments in class. (Yes, the 70-year-old man!) Also because I got 100% for my first test for this subject! Oh, and the professor also begins every class with a devotional time.

Bible (BIBL 105): This Bible class that I am taking for this semester is "Survey of the Old Testament". Yes, it sounds like I am in a seminary. Actually, I feel like I am in one. A subject like this sounds like something my Dad did in MBTS. If that is not enough, you should take a look at my textbook. It is as thick as my dictionary, if not thicker! No joke! And it is like reading Middle Eastern history. It is a pretty boring subject, but somehow, my professor (His name is Michael Smith!) made it really interesting. And it also really nice to study the Old Testament as something more than a book of Sunday School stories, but as a book that documents the early history of mankind. Frankly, it's amazing!

Evangelism (EVAN 101): I don't even think that this is a class. It's more like another service (and later you will know why I use the word 'another'), because we start every class with a praise and worship session, and we have guest speakers coming to share their testimonies, and we have altar calls (yes, plural form!) in the class. And did I mention that one of the assignments is to write my testimony?

Well, on a lighter note, I went to a football game! Our first home game for the season, and we won 49-10! My first football game! And if you haven't realised, I am not talking about the football where guys kick a black-and-white ball around. I am talking about American football. And I do not have a single clue how the game goes! I could not even keep track of where the ball went. It's basically a game where you watch a bunch of big guys chasing one big guy holding the ball. So, I just cheered when the rest of the people cheered, and tried to comprehend as much as I can, which is really not much. Well, anyway, I can now claim that I went to watch a game! And I actually stayed till the end of the game without falling asleep! Such an achievement...

Last week we also had Spiritual Emphasis Week (SEW). It's basically a week where we have services every night. Yes, every night! As though six services a week is not enough! (No kidding!) But SEW is evangelistic in nature, and I witness so many people giving their lives at the altar, that I can hardly believe it (literally!). But I guess my Lord is the Lord of the Impossibles. And to kick start SEW, we had an all night of prayer, and my dorm got the last shift of the night (or day), which is from 7-8am. So we woke up at 6.30am to go to the Prayer Chapel which is on the Hill to pray. I do not know about the others, but it was good for me. It was a time when I can really focus on the Lord and fall on my face before Him in petition. Not that I cannot do it on any other day, but sometimes, life has so many things lined up for me that it is hard to be focused. Sometimes it's hard to get through my quiet time without glancing at the clock even once. And I feel guilty! I mean, just imagine if you are talking to me and I keep looking at my watch. How rude is that!

This is getting too long. I shall not kill your interest and patience. Will update more soon. At least for now, I can say that I kept my promise to update my blog!

Officially an Alien!

So, I am officially an alien! Well, at least an alien on American soil.

It's been so long since I last updated my blog, that I've kinda forgotten that I have a blog. No way! I was kidding.

Many people have been really nice, and I have a thousand and one people asking me how am I, including people whom I never knew cared anything about me (and I wonder where they came from all of a sudden).

But above all else, the one thing that is truly amazing about being an alien, or rather, being on my own, is the extent of God's grace that I have experienced. It's not that I have never experienced His grace before, it is just that, when you are thrown out on your own and you have nowhere to turn to and no one else to go to, you learn to put your trust and your hope solely in Him. And it is then that you really experience the abundance of His Storehouse of Grace.

This past month has been truly amazing, as I witness the Lord of the universe at work in my life. (Can you believe that the God who created the Heavens and the Earth cared enough to look into the life of one out of eleven thousand students in Liberty?!) He never fails to make me stand in awe in His presence.

Well, I do have a lot to thank the Lord for; His grace, His provision, His peace.

That's all for now. I will be back with more details soon. That's a promise, and the last time I checked, I was not a vow-breaker.

Surprised by Joy

It was odd, to walk past her as though I didn’t notice her presence, staring at her out of the corners of my eyes, only to find myself turning back and walking again in her direction. Something in me made me turn back, but I cannot put my fingers on what exactly was it.

I did it, anyway. I bought it. I stooped down and I gave it to her. Then I saw it on her face- the smile that was generously written all over her face. She muttered something. Something I didn’t quite understand. But it didn’t matter.

All that took merely a minute. No, it didn’t seem like forever. It felt like what it was- just a minute and nothing more. Then I just walked away casually, like nothing happened.

It must have been quite a sight. After all, anything out of the ordinary does create a scene. Eyes must have been looking. Or maybe not. Lips must have been whispering. Or maybe not. Minds must have been wondering. Or maybe not. I don’t know. I didn’t look. I don’t to care to know. I didn’t have time to look. I just walked away casually, like nothing happened.

As I was walking away, I felt the surge of emotions: of Wonder and Amazement at what I’ve just done; of Joy, in seeing hers, and in knowing that I’ve finally done it. It wasn’t so hard, was it?

I was surprised by joy, finding it in the most unlikely places. But the question that remains to be asked is this: Why did it take me so long?

Let's do away with exams!

Exams! Who ever invented such a thing? It’s the Chinese, isn’t it? I know it’s to test your academic ability and how far you’ve progressed academically, but does it really do that? I mean, you study for a year or two, and then finally your fate lies in the hands of a two-hour paper! What’s the logic of it?

And then there’s always the element of luck. Okay, I know we don’t do luck, but I’m referring to that element in life that lies beyond human control. So call it whatever you want. Divine destiny, maybe? Truth is, sometimes during exams, some things are just out of your control. Like falling sick during an exam period, or getting a super-hard question, or maybe even reading the time wrongly. So you just flop your exam for that simple reason, and it’s the end of the world. How unfair!

Oh, and in standardized test, you don’t even know who marks your paper, and how they do it. You may unfortunately get a lousy examiner, who unfortunately marks your paper wrongly, and there goes your paper, and your future! All that you’ve been labouring for for the past two years… gone, just like that!

So much depends on the paper alone. Too much! It’s like a dice that can either lead you to a box that says, “Congratulations! You’ve won”, or to one that says, “Move backwards 3 steps.” The bottom line is this: exams take the fun out of learning. Just imagine how fun school would be if not for exams. We can then learn because we enjoy learning, and not learn to sit for exams. So, let’s do away with exams!!

Okay… okay! Yes, I am suffering from PET (Post-Exam Trauma) resulting in AES (Anti-Exam Syndrome). Oh well, I’m just glad that it’s over now, at least for this one and a half months. And I praise the Lord that I am still alive. Hallellujah!

So, who cares to join me in calling for exams to be done away with?

can't live without

One never knows the value of someone or something until one loses it. How true that is! I can testify first hand, that's for sure.

It was only for a day. Yet I felt as though I was totally disconnected with the rest of the world. Actually I literally was. For one whole day (one day only? sure seemed longer), there was no one to wake me up for college, no one to remind me that it's time for TVB Drama, or to tell me that my time is running short. Worst of all, I felt so lonely and lost for a whole day, as though I was the only one left on Earth.

Well, if you haven't realised by now, I am talking about my handphone. I left it in college. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I got it back the next day. So, for one day, I had no contact with the outside world, because my parents' numbers are the only ones I remember by heart. There was no one to wake me up, because my handphone is also my only alarm clock. Oh, by the way, it functions as my watch too!

I truly did not realise how reliant I was on that little peanut-shape machine until I lost it. I did not own a mobile phone couples of years back, so what's the big deal now? But apparently, not having something before is way better than having it only to lose it again, as I have come to realise.

Eventful December

If I were to attempt to blog about every single thing that has happened this December in this post, my post will most probably be as long as the Great Wall of China. Hence, I shall not attempt so. However, I definitely can't wait to share all that has happened in this short and amazing month. I may probably do so in a number of posts... or not.

Let's begin with a checklist of all that has taken place in December 2007:

College... check

Homework... check

LIFE Game Camp... check

Ipoh... check

Hospital... check

Funeral service... check

Memorial service... check

Christmas party... check

Christmas countdown... check

New friends... check

Admission offers... check

Laughter... check

Tears... check

Frustration... check

Dates.... unchecked

Okay, fourteen out of fifteen ain't bad!!

holidays!... or holidays?

I am officially on holiday! Well, 'officially' does not always mean 'actually'. And in this case, it certainly does not. There are so many things lined up for my holiday... Let's see....

1. do one essay per day for Law
2. attend extra classes for Literature (that means having to go back to college)
3. study for Literature Unit 4 exam in January
4. study for Economics resit papers in January
5. Christmas (= presentations and events)
6. Life Game Camp

Some holiday, huh? One thing's for sure, though: it's gonna be 'action-packed'!

The other side of driving

It was a fine morning when he said, "Come out, Dorcas. I teach you how to change the tyres. This is very different from the old car." As though I knew how to change the tyres of the old car! Anyway, I obediently went out in my pyjamas.

"Don't you want to change into something else? In case you dirty your pyjamas," Mum said. What?! I thought I was just suppose to observe him doing it! You know, be the audience.... I didn't know it's going to be a hands-on training.

First, he showed me how to replace and retrieve the spare tyre. Well, I did not even know where the spare tyre was kept, to begin with. Anyway, he showed me how to do it at first, then he made me do it as well. It was not so difficult after all! You just screw and screw and screw till the thing is tight.....

After that, he taught me how to jack up the car to change the tyres. So he began by showing me where the jack was kept. When one mentions 'jack', the image of a red and white lawn-mower-like thing appears in my mind's eyes. To my surprise, he took out this black and shiny bomb-like thing with a knob in front that really looked more like a bunsen burner. Then he showed me where to place the thing. It was supposed to be placed somewhere under the suspension, I think. Of course, I did not even know what a suspension looked like.

"See that thing over there? You place it right there." I just nodded and replied with an "uh-huh". But to be honest, the whole of the bottom part of the car looks the same to me. After all, the whole thing is black in colour, and I am pretty sure every part is just as dirty.

So finally he got it done and over with, and I had to help keep all the tools, which I was almost certain weighed more than a tonne. And I wonder why no one ever said anything about changing the tyres when I signed up for driving lessons....

It is no wonder why girls find it hard to connect with their dads. I am sure if it were my brother, he would have been so eager to do these things. But me? change the tyres? under this hot sun? You must be kidding.... I always believe that my God is an awesome God. I can't marvel more at His wisdom than when He created Adam and his sons. Who is gonna change the tyres if they do not exist?