It was odd, to walk past her as though I didn’t notice her presence, staring at her out of the corners of my eyes, only to find myself turning back and walking again in her direction. Something in me made me turn back, but I cannot put my fingers on what exactly was it.
I did it, anyway. I bought it. I stooped down and I gave it to her. Then I saw it on her face- the smile that was generously written all over her face. She muttered something. Something I didn’t quite understand. But it didn’t matter.
All that took merely a minute. No, it didn’t seem like forever. It felt like what it was- just a minute and nothing more. Then I just walked away casually, like nothing happened.
It must have been quite a sight. After all, anything out of the ordinary does create a scene. Eyes must have been looking. Or maybe not. Lips must have been whispering. Or maybe not. Minds must have been wondering. Or maybe not. I don’t know. I didn’t look. I don’t to care to know. I didn’t have time to look. I just walked away casually, like nothing happened.
As I was walking away, I felt the surge of emotions: of Wonder and Amazement at what I’ve just done; of Joy, in seeing hers, and in knowing that I’ve finally done it. It wasn’t so hard, was it?
I was surprised by joy, finding it in the most unlikely places. But the question that remains to be asked is this: Why did it take me so long?
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Let's do away with exams!
Exams! Who ever invented such a thing? It’s the Chinese, isn’t it? I know it’s to test your academic ability and how far you’ve progressed academically, but does it really do that? I mean, you study for a year or two, and then finally your fate lies in the hands of a two-hour paper! What’s the logic of it?
And then there’s always the element of luck. Okay, I know we don’t do luck, but I’m referring to that element in life that lies beyond human control. So call it whatever you want. Divine destiny, maybe? Truth is, sometimes during exams, some things are just out of your control. Like falling sick during an exam period, or getting a super-hard question, or maybe even reading the time wrongly. So you just flop your exam for that simple reason, and it’s the end of the world. How unfair!
Oh, and in standardized test, you don’t even know who marks your paper, and how they do it. You may unfortunately get a lousy examiner, who unfortunately marks your paper wrongly, and there goes your paper, and your future! All that you’ve been labouring for for the past two years… gone, just like that!
So much depends on the paper alone. Too much! It’s like a dice that can either lead you to a box that says, “Congratulations! You’ve won”, or to one that says, “Move backwards 3 steps.” The bottom line is this: exams take the fun out of learning. Just imagine how fun school would be if not for exams. We can then learn because we enjoy learning, and not learn to sit for exams. So, let’s do away with exams!!
Okay… okay! Yes, I am suffering from PET (Post-Exam Trauma) resulting in AES (Anti-Exam Syndrome). Oh well, I’m just glad that it’s over now, at least for this one and a half months. And I praise the Lord that I am still alive. Hallellujah!
So, who cares to join me in calling for exams to be done away with?
And then there’s always the element of luck. Okay, I know we don’t do luck, but I’m referring to that element in life that lies beyond human control. So call it whatever you want. Divine destiny, maybe? Truth is, sometimes during exams, some things are just out of your control. Like falling sick during an exam period, or getting a super-hard question, or maybe even reading the time wrongly. So you just flop your exam for that simple reason, and it’s the end of the world. How unfair!
Oh, and in standardized test, you don’t even know who marks your paper, and how they do it. You may unfortunately get a lousy examiner, who unfortunately marks your paper wrongly, and there goes your paper, and your future! All that you’ve been labouring for for the past two years… gone, just like that!
So much depends on the paper alone. Too much! It’s like a dice that can either lead you to a box that says, “Congratulations! You’ve won”, or to one that says, “Move backwards 3 steps.” The bottom line is this: exams take the fun out of learning. Just imagine how fun school would be if not for exams. We can then learn because we enjoy learning, and not learn to sit for exams. So, let’s do away with exams!!
Okay… okay! Yes, I am suffering from PET (Post-Exam Trauma) resulting in AES (Anti-Exam Syndrome). Oh well, I’m just glad that it’s over now, at least for this one and a half months. And I praise the Lord that I am still alive. Hallellujah!
So, who cares to join me in calling for exams to be done away with?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
So me!
So, I am a huge fan of Calvin and Hobbes, and this really caught my attention!
Actually, sometimes I've got the same questions about God too. But aren't we all like that at one point of time or another? I guess there are times when you just have to cling on to nothing else but faith.
Actually, sometimes I've got the same questions about God too. But aren't we all like that at one point of time or another? I guess there are times when you just have to cling on to nothing else but faith.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
My Voice
I've finally found my voice. Not that I have lost it, but it was just suppressed. So, before I clam up again, I'd better get the words out. Right here right now, I just a few words to say to a couple of people.
To the earthquake victims in Sichuan:
It breaks my heart to see the death toll increasing. My heart goes out to all you guys. How I wish that I can do more to help. If only I have the capability, I want to go and search through the rubble for survivors, and adopt a kid or two. But as of now, all I can do is to keep you guys in my prayers, and I believe that prayers move the hand of God to do mightier things- things that are way beyond my imagination.
To the victims of the cyclone in Myanmar:
Keep fighting! Fight for your survival. Fight for your rights. Fight for your freedom. The Junta is not God and they don't hold your destiny in their hands. You do, and God does!
To the Chapmans:
I may never understand all that you guys are going through right now, but I do believe that our God is still in control.
To our dear Dr. M:
Sir, I used to respect you a lot, and I must say that I still do. But you have had your time and and you have had the opportunity to do things your way. Right now, it's time for you to keep your thoughts to yourself and step back to let others do things their way and make their own mistakes and learn from them, just as you have learned from yours, or at least so I hope.
To Munirah:
Please keep your mouth shut until you've found your senses! Our uniform is not sexy! Do you expect us to go to school covered in black from head to toe?!
To the Pasir Mas MP:
Teach the women to accept polygamy?! Do you know what are you talking about? Stop viewing women as sexual objects created to fulfill the men's sexual desires! It's high time to call for the men to be taught some self-control.
There! I've said it all. I was supposed to abstain from blogging until I'm done with my exams (that accounts for the inactivity of my blog lately), but keeping my thoughts to myself is just so hard. So, there! I've finally let it all out. The next time you hear from me will probably be the end of June, and by then, I'll be truly MERDEKA!!
To the earthquake victims in Sichuan:
It breaks my heart to see the death toll increasing. My heart goes out to all you guys. How I wish that I can do more to help. If only I have the capability, I want to go and search through the rubble for survivors, and adopt a kid or two. But as of now, all I can do is to keep you guys in my prayers, and I believe that prayers move the hand of God to do mightier things- things that are way beyond my imagination.
To the victims of the cyclone in Myanmar:
Keep fighting! Fight for your survival. Fight for your rights. Fight for your freedom. The Junta is not God and they don't hold your destiny in their hands. You do, and God does!
To the Chapmans:
I may never understand all that you guys are going through right now, but I do believe that our God is still in control.
To our dear Dr. M:
Sir, I used to respect you a lot, and I must say that I still do. But you have had your time and and you have had the opportunity to do things your way. Right now, it's time for you to keep your thoughts to yourself and step back to let others do things their way and make their own mistakes and learn from them, just as you have learned from yours, or at least so I hope.
To Munirah:
Please keep your mouth shut until you've found your senses! Our uniform is not sexy! Do you expect us to go to school covered in black from head to toe?!
To the Pasir Mas MP:
Teach the women to accept polygamy?! Do you know what are you talking about? Stop viewing women as sexual objects created to fulfill the men's sexual desires! It's high time to call for the men to be taught some self-control.
There! I've said it all. I was supposed to abstain from blogging until I'm done with my exams (that accounts for the inactivity of my blog lately), but keeping my thoughts to myself is just so hard. So, there! I've finally let it all out. The next time you hear from me will probably be the end of June, and by then, I'll be truly MERDEKA!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Surprised by God
So, I am surprised by God... once again. Was it unexpected? No. Was I caught offguard? Yes. How is that even possible? Don't ask me, I don't know. Humans are just bundles of contradictions, and that is really what I am.
Sometimes, I just wish that He quits jumping out from behind the bush, because I really thought I was going to have a heart attack everytime He does that. But at times, I am also thrilled at the idea of Him showing up at my doorstep with flowers on an unexpected day.
However, I have come to realise that they all come in a package. There is no picking out just the good ones nor can you dismiss the not-so-good ones. They are all in the same package. It is a situation where you either take it, or you leave it.
Yet everytime, just as I thought I was sure of my destination, He took me on a detour. He brought me up to the mountain peak and down to the valley deep. He took me for a walk in the rose garden; I smelled some roses and pricked my fingers.
But there are two things that I can always know for sure: 1) I always gain something from the experience, be it a pleasant surprise or not-so-pleasant one. It is either a fresh scent of roses or a bloody finger. 2) If He leads me to it, He always leads me through it!
Perhaps it's time to brace myself for more surprises in the future!
Sometimes, I just wish that He quits jumping out from behind the bush, because I really thought I was going to have a heart attack everytime He does that. But at times, I am also thrilled at the idea of Him showing up at my doorstep with flowers on an unexpected day.
However, I have come to realise that they all come in a package. There is no picking out just the good ones nor can you dismiss the not-so-good ones. They are all in the same package. It is a situation where you either take it, or you leave it.
Yet everytime, just as I thought I was sure of my destination, He took me on a detour. He brought me up to the mountain peak and down to the valley deep. He took me for a walk in the rose garden; I smelled some roses and pricked my fingers.
But there are two things that I can always know for sure: 1) I always gain something from the experience, be it a pleasant surprise or not-so-pleasant one. It is either a fresh scent of roses or a bloody finger. 2) If He leads me to it, He always leads me through it!
Perhaps it's time to brace myself for more surprises in the future!
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