Most people dread to be alone. But I, on the other hand, like to be alone today. I am extremely glad and thankful to be alone.
Because I know far too well what it means when sweet turns sour. I know how bad it tastes. It even leaves an after taste in the mouth and reminds you of the thing that is long gone.
Now, I am happy to be free and alone again.... till I find the only sweetness that will last forever.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
What's in a Name?
Funny how people's names change over time.
Before they get married, it's 'dear', 'darling' and 'sayang'.
After they get married, all the sweet terms are dropped.
After they have children, they become 'Mummy' or 'Daddy'.
When the children are gone and they are all alone again, it's 'Old Man' or 'Old Woman'.... or worse still, 'lou ye' (loosely translated, old thing)
How strange.... how very strange!
Before they get married, it's 'dear', 'darling' and 'sayang'.
After they get married, all the sweet terms are dropped.
After they have children, they become 'Mummy' or 'Daddy'.
When the children are gone and they are all alone again, it's 'Old Man' or 'Old Woman'.... or worse still, 'lou ye' (loosely translated, old thing)
How strange.... how very strange!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Bundles of Joy
I was making my way down the steps of the spoiled escalator and he was right beside me, struggling to make his way down the steps which were a little too huge for him. As my right hand was hanging idly between the both of us, he conveniently reached out for it, and tightly gripped two of my fingers. With his right hand on the railing, he slowly conquered the giant steps with my help. Just as he felt he could do it on his own and was about to let go of the extra hand, he lost his balance and almost fell. My heart skipped a beat and I almost cried out, but he instinctively grabbed hold of my hand again, and I held it so tightly that I thought I was never going to let go.
However, feeling something was amiss, he turned to check out the owner of the extra hand, and seeing a total stranger who simply greeted him with an unfamiliar 'hello' instead of his Dad, he stared for a second or two, let go of my hand, and climbed up the stairs again to his Dad.
It all happened in just a few minutes of my life and he was a total stranger, yet I relive the memory of those moments so vividly. There is an indescribable joy in holding the hand of a little one, helping and guiding him along the way.
When my Mum quitted her 21-year-old job as an accounts clerk to help in the church kindergarten, I could not understand why would one do that. True, it is a ministry and she is serving God and not man. But why this job? This is perhaps one of the most tiring and dirty jobs. Setting aside the low pay, I still could not imagine why someone was willing to give up an office job in exchange for an 8.30am-to-8.30pm job, working with a bunch of kiddos.
But everytime she comes back home, she is always full of stories, of how the kids did this and the kids did that. Whenever she talks about them, I thought I saw a sparkle in her eyes, and all the weariness of the day just disappeared. It was then that I realised that she has found something special that none of us will ever understand. Something so special that it makes all her physical and mental weariness seem worthwhile. Just to see a kid smile at her after having pronounced a word correctly makes everything else melts away.
I realised that she did not exchange her 21-year-old job for 12 hours of labour everyday, but instead, she has exchanged it for Bundles of Joy.
However, feeling something was amiss, he turned to check out the owner of the extra hand, and seeing a total stranger who simply greeted him with an unfamiliar 'hello' instead of his Dad, he stared for a second or two, let go of my hand, and climbed up the stairs again to his Dad.
It all happened in just a few minutes of my life and he was a total stranger, yet I relive the memory of those moments so vividly. There is an indescribable joy in holding the hand of a little one, helping and guiding him along the way.
When my Mum quitted her 21-year-old job as an accounts clerk to help in the church kindergarten, I could not understand why would one do that. True, it is a ministry and she is serving God and not man. But why this job? This is perhaps one of the most tiring and dirty jobs. Setting aside the low pay, I still could not imagine why someone was willing to give up an office job in exchange for an 8.30am-to-8.30pm job, working with a bunch of kiddos.
But everytime she comes back home, she is always full of stories, of how the kids did this and the kids did that. Whenever she talks about them, I thought I saw a sparkle in her eyes, and all the weariness of the day just disappeared. It was then that I realised that she has found something special that none of us will ever understand. Something so special that it makes all her physical and mental weariness seem worthwhile. Just to see a kid smile at her after having pronounced a word correctly makes everything else melts away.
I realised that she did not exchange her 21-year-old job for 12 hours of labour everyday, but instead, she has exchanged it for Bundles of Joy.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Vanity strikes
La vanité!* Vanity has always been a 'female word', in that it has always been associated with the female gender. The classic complaint has been that girls spend hours preparing themselves before a date. They spend what seems like eternity just to get dressed. Then, of course the window shoppings... they can walk for hours in a mall, and end up buying nothing at all. And the make up... Shakespeare has this to say,
Recently, vanity has stricken again! And this time, the guys get their fair share of it. If you think that you cannot stand the female version of vanity, wait till you experience first hand the male version of it.
Who wakes up early in the morning just to get showered and have their hair gelled? Who applies deodorant even when they are at home? Who diligently cleanses his face more than once a day so that not even one spot of pimple can be seen? Who dons accessories like almost everytime he steps out of the house? Who takes hundreds of self-portraits?!! Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against photography, but staring into the camera and snapping pictures of yourself? And hundreds of them too?!!
"I have heard of your paintings too well enough.
God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another."
Recently, vanity has stricken again! And this time, the guys get their fair share of it. If you think that you cannot stand the female version of vanity, wait till you experience first hand the male version of it.
Who wakes up early in the morning just to get showered and have their hair gelled? Who applies deodorant even when they are at home? Who diligently cleanses his face more than once a day so that not even one spot of pimple can be seen? Who dons accessories like almost everytime he steps out of the house? Who takes hundreds of self-portraits?!! Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against photography, but staring into the camera and snapping pictures of yourself? And hundreds of them too?!!
Oh Vanity, thou art a disease that gradually sweeps through the land. Thy grip is strong and thy hand seizes hold of any being within thine reach.
Le vanité!* See? Vanity is no longer a girl-word. In fact, I think it is more of a guy-word than it is a girl-word. Well, at least I don't spend lots of time getting dressed in the morning....
*vanité French for vanity; La French article for female noun; Le French article for male noun
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Imperfections
Affluence has elevated us to a position where we can no longer tolerate even the slightest imperfection. Only perfectly undented cans, perfectly crease-free books, and perfectly symmetrical garments ever go into our shopping carts. We think that we deserve the best goods for the money we've paid.
Then, we apply the same standard to other things. We only want and will only make perfectly beautiful babies. People even go to the extent of seeking scientific help in order to make that possible. They select the best genes to be passed on to the next generation, in the hope that they will create babies as special and as talented as Yao Ming.
But what if God still decides to give us a slightly less-than-perfect child? Will we still be able to call her a Gift of Grace? Will we be able to look into her eyes and see beauty beyond description? Can we look into her face and see the image of God? Or do we see an ugly little monster staring back at us?
I was born with some imperfections of my own. I was born with a retarded mind, so much so that I cannot understand most of the things He is trying to tell me. I have too big a head, and I think that I can do things without His help. My hearing is slightly impaired. I cannot hear Him speaking to me most of the time, and very often, He had to resort to yelling at me. I suffer from severe short-sightedness. I can never see beyond the present. I have too loud a mouth, and time and again, I have said things that are a little less than pleasant to my Creator. My hands have too strong a grip, and I have problem letting go of things. I am faint-hearted. I easily lose faith and get discouraged over and over again. My legs are so long that sometimes I run too fast and too far away from where He wants me to be. I am the embodiment of Imperfections.
Yet, He has called me a Child of Grace. Yet, He said that I was "fearfully and wonderfully made". Yet, He has picked me up and clothed me in His love and His righteousness. Yet, He had chosen to lay down His life for a bundle of Imperfections.
He must have had a different definition of the word 'perfection'. Or else, He must have seen something that I could not see. Or perhaps, He has looked at me through a different pair of lenses; a pair of lenses that tranforms Imperfections to Perfections.
Then, we apply the same standard to other things. We only want and will only make perfectly beautiful babies. People even go to the extent of seeking scientific help in order to make that possible. They select the best genes to be passed on to the next generation, in the hope that they will create babies as special and as talented as Yao Ming.
But what if God still decides to give us a slightly less-than-perfect child? Will we still be able to call her a Gift of Grace? Will we be able to look into her eyes and see beauty beyond description? Can we look into her face and see the image of God? Or do we see an ugly little monster staring back at us?
I was born with some imperfections of my own. I was born with a retarded mind, so much so that I cannot understand most of the things He is trying to tell me. I have too big a head, and I think that I can do things without His help. My hearing is slightly impaired. I cannot hear Him speaking to me most of the time, and very often, He had to resort to yelling at me. I suffer from severe short-sightedness. I can never see beyond the present. I have too loud a mouth, and time and again, I have said things that are a little less than pleasant to my Creator. My hands have too strong a grip, and I have problem letting go of things. I am faint-hearted. I easily lose faith and get discouraged over and over again. My legs are so long that sometimes I run too fast and too far away from where He wants me to be. I am the embodiment of Imperfections.
Yet, He has called me a Child of Grace. Yet, He said that I was "fearfully and wonderfully made". Yet, He has picked me up and clothed me in His love and His righteousness. Yet, He had chosen to lay down His life for a bundle of Imperfections.
He must have had a different definition of the word 'perfection'. Or else, He must have seen something that I could not see. Or perhaps, He has looked at me through a different pair of lenses; a pair of lenses that tranforms Imperfections to Perfections.
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